Malay College Class of 2004

I had planned to write this for a very long time, in fact since the first day I clumsily agreed to “have a look” at the debating teams. What I did not plan was the manner and context it would finally be written, for it was intended as a tribute to the teams that would finally deliver our double PPMs (English and BM).

PPM 2006 ended this morning. As I wrote this, news must have traveled that Cagers did it with style and the debating teams lost yet another year, despite all the promises and prospects. I was happy to be at the court and be 17 again this morning – cheering for the college team and singing Gemilang. (Even the mention of Gemilang made me pause. I had pictured the scene post our winning the trophies in Putrajaya with the euphoria of Gemilang so many times in my head that I am at a loss to realize that it will not happen after all.)

Despite our laughter and cheer throughout the game, our eyes betrayed us. So many times since yesterday that my eyes locked momentarily with Sherry’s, Cikgu Umi’s, or the kids’ – Haqqa’s, Ed’s, Helman’s, Buck’s, Aslam’s, Fendy’s and Aleng’s – or the other coaches. Each time it happened, it was obvious that we could not hide the sorrow and pain, the emotional drain that sapped away all our energy and faith in people’s goodwill – our eyes betrayed us, the empty and sorrowful stares that each of us gives to each other blow away all the pretenses and illusions of calmness we tried to project.